SAME SEX MARRIAGE CONTINUEDStudies have shown that those who watch the news are roughly 70 percent more likely to be depressed than those who don’t. It’s a tad bit selfish when you think about it, but I typically avoid watching the news myself. However, it dawned upon me that being informed is crucial for a writer’s credibility. Nevertheless, I have recently begun sacrificing my own happiness through tuning into the daily news for the past week.
In the midst of my daily research, if you will, I stumbled upon a friendly reminder as to why I despise the news so much. Following the legalization of gay marriage nationwide, one governor is still refusing to condone same-sex weddings in Louisiana. Bobby Jindal, the star of the show, justified his actions by saying, “Marriage between a man and a woman was established by God, and no earthly court can alter that.” Here’s what Jindal, along with many others against gay marriage are missing: the state always has been and always will be separate from the Church. The legalization of gay marriage is not an attempt for the U.S. government to change the nation’s belief system. It’s simply a way to equip a select group of people the necessary rights to be considered equals with everyone else in the legal system. As a heterosexual male, I applaud the government’s decision to legalize gay marriage. My reason being, there’s no reason a predetermined attraction should keep anybody from his or her rights in the legal system. The fact that people like Jindal, consider heterosexuals superior to homosexuals boils down to nothing but ignorance. Here’s the real reason stories like these sadden me: I was raised Catholic and attended countless hours of bible school and church services growing up, so I know the ins-and-outs of the christian belief system. So here's my take on this situation: if you want to believe in the bible that’s great! You’re more than welcome to. But if you’re going to use the bible to justify your hatred for gay marriage, then you'd better listen to all of the other rules that are clearly laid out by your religious handbook. On top of stating that homosexuality is an abomination, the bible also says touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, and that premarital sex is punishable by death. In continuation, wearing clothing that consists of two different fabrics, eating shrimp, and cutting one's hair is against the rules of the bible. With that being said, if you’re a football fan, have cut your hair at some point, have worn multi-fabric clothing, have enjoyed a plate of popcorn shrimp, or have had sex before you said the words “I do,” you’re a hypocrite when it comes to using the Bible to say gay marriage is wrong. One of my favorite comedians, Jim Jefferies, said it best. “If you hate gay marriage you know what you should do? Don't marry a gay person." I love this quote because of how much truth it holds. If there’s one thing I want people to take away from this article, it's that the key to happiness is the ability to live and let live. Stop judging people based off of predetermined traits such as nationality, race, or sexuality. Judge others based on their intentions and their character. This is America; we pride ourselves on our freedom and equality. Perhaps when people like Bobby Jindal begin to recognize the correct way to judge others, the news will no longer be so painful to watch. BRIAN MCRAE |
A
Woman’s Perspective: Do Women Want Sex?
I
will be honest and tell you that I am a good girl. A good girl who used to be
very prude. Looking back, I realize that I was a prude because I was
uncomfortable – with boys, my body, and myself. This is not a good combo for a
woman, if she ever wants to have a mind blowing sex life. I did not see sex as
fun. I perceived it as something scary and awkward. I felt that all that guys
wanted was to use me and then laugh at me, while I wanted them to respect me.
Therefore, I would never let them get close unless they put in the time.
When I turned 18, all of this changed for me. I went backpacking and safely kissed my way up the east coast until I met a very special guy who totally broke me out of my shell. The first time we were making out he said to me: “I want you to be comfortable. If I do anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, just slap my hand and I will stop.” I can tell you there was no hand slapping that night, and I got very comfortable very quickly with that guy. The reason for this was that for once, I felt that I was in charge of my sexuality. I was getting to make a choice and that alone put me at ease. Women want to be sexual. Women want to be sexy, and they want to live out crazy sexual fantasies but they need to feel safe, secure and above all – not to be rushed, while knowing that if something goes wrong, they have the power to stop it. Women want to know that they are the one making the choice to have sex because they want to, and not because they are forced or pushed into being sexual. I never want to feel judged or pressured. I do not want to be tossed in the slut category, and therefore I am very conscious of who I give my sexuality to. Unfortunately, many women are not as lucky to find a wonderful backpacking friend like I did. They have not experienced a safe environment, where they can unleash their sexual creature within. Women want to be unlocked. Trust me. Even the purest of the pure who look far too innocent to have “dirty” thoughts crave adventure. Make no mistake about it: a girl who is a wall flower at a club has just as many sexual fantasies or more than the girl who is taking the center of the dance floor, grinding against and teasing random guys. As a man, you can give women a safe place to want to have sex and to be sexual. Just like my backpacking friend did for me. And you might just be surprised by the results and by what passion you will unleash in a woman. |
Casual Sex or “Friends With Benefits?”I am a 22-year-old currently in college. What I see about sex and how it is viewed by my peers is much different than what I had expected. I always knew that people were having casual sex, but I had no idea how often it occurred. Even though casual sex can be common for people all ages, it is especially practiced by college-aged adults. Needless to say I have been disappointed more than once when I met a guy and realized that all he wanted was casual sex.
What is casual sex anyway? For the discussion here, let’s define it as when two consenting people choose to have sex either based on a mutual attraction or just for the sake of having sex. Eighteen to twenty-five year olds don’t call this behavior casual sex. We call it “friends with benefits.” To me this doesn’t seem like much of a friendship, but it’s so common among young people. In checking in with my male friends, they all agreed that casual sex is common and they participate in it often. They admitted to having sex with 3-4 girls throughout the week and then “dumping” them when they get tired of them, or when the girl becomes too attached. I’m not saying that girls don’t do this too, but I think with men this behavior is more common. They often feel no regret or sense of guilt for admitting that they use girls for sex. This is scary and disturbing for me, as a young woman navigating the dating world. Don’t they eventually get tired of this game? With certain influences from the media I feel like we are being trained to think and act this way. Certain movies actually advocate and glorify casual sex. Movies like “Friends With Benefits”, and “No Strings Attached” star good-looking young people that make this kind of behavior look enjoyable. Everywhere you look young people are targeted for marketing sex. Reality shows, magazines, songs on the radio, and especially the Internet markets sex to young people. The media never tries to market intimacy or romance, because frankly that doesn’t sell. We are so influenced by what is on television, or what we hear on the radio, yet we don’t even realize it. Still, the capacity to connect sexually without intimacy quite frankly is baffling to me. The thing is, many people who have casual sex often wouldn’t even hang out with the person that they are having sex with. I feel that everyone has the need to be loved, and sex can mistakenly be confused for other intimate feelings especially among young women. It’s no secret that nearly everyone enjoys receiving sexual attention, we’re only human after all. But getting sexual attention by having sex without intimacy can become a vicious cycle. For example, if a young girl has casual sex with a peer because she enjoys the attention, she can start to subconsciously believe that she is only worthy of attention through sex. Most people understand that there are risks to having casual sex, (i.e., unplanned pregnancy, STDs, sexual addiction) but I think the risks to one’s self-esteem are even greater. This kind of sexual behavior can wreak havoc on self-esteem later on. If someone is engaging in this sort of activity, I think that person may want to check and see why he or she engaging in sexual activity. Is it just to feel some sort of attention from the opposite sex? Or might it be a compulsive urge to avoid dealing with some issue that needs to be faced? If you choose to engage in casual sex, I think it’s important to remember that this is just a physical act, not an intimate one, and one cannot fill any emotional voids by just having sex. Casual sex is supposed to be a mutual agreement. All too often this agreement never gets set up and someone ends up getting hurt. |